Just watched Ally McBeal on Star World. Today's episode moved me a lot. It told about a a convict, a murderer, a father who would give his life to her daughter. And of course about Ally, who finally asked Victor (Jon Bon Jovi) out on a date, but suddenly cancelled it becoz she realized that she still in love with Larry (Freddie Prinze Jr.). How those kind of situation happens in everyday life. And how those two things, can almost resembles a little side of my life ... in a way.

don't you think everybody has been in the same condition like those up there? You can have a perception about a person so bad, that it actually based on a living anguish. An emotions that you cant even tell to yourself how it came to live. Or maybe a feeling of wanting to go on with your life, but somewhere in your heart, there's a alarm that reminding you, about someone else. That no matter how much and how true you hated him/her, he/she is still in your heart. Those feelings, keep you from going forward. Sometimes those kind of thinking made me confused about the reason God created relationship. I know it teaches me about my relationship with God, but if its towards men ... Oh my dear Lord, I wish I can say that I want to give up the fight! Relationships makes me acquainted with what we called 'loneliness'.

+ For God has said, "I will never fail you. I will never forsake you." Hebrews 13:5 +

One of the most fearful concepts in life is the utter termination of a cherished relationship. Whether we call it abandoning, forsaking, giving up on us, or divorce, the portrait is a sharp line drawn in a relationship. A line that quickly becomes a great gulf between the two persons, putting them out of reach of one another. And one of the greatest consequences of being abandoned is that it threatens our feeling of self-worth. "I was worthless, so I was abandoned. I had something wrong with me, so no one wanted me." How comforting to know that God will never abandon anyone who loves him.

Anyway, the episode ended with the father killing himself by the head so that his daughter can have a heart transplant as soon as possible. And Ally asked Victor to cook, and it ended up with Victor singing a song with the lyric goes something like this ...

"... and i hope that i wont fall in love with you. and i hope that you're not fall in love with me ..."



Both of them are so cute together!!